The Student Grief Network

• Let yourself feel whatever comes up. You may respond in ways you don’t expect, or at unexpected times. Grief can be seen as ‘waves’ that come and go. Some waves are small, more like background noise. Some waves are big and overwhelming, and all you can do is try to stay afloat. Sometimes the sea is quiet and calm.
• You may need to take some time out, or you may prefer to keep distracted. It can help to take small steps towards a normal routine, such as eating something small, getting some fresh air, attending a class, or seeing a friend. It’s okay to rest if you need that too.
• Notice what brings you small moments of steadiness. This might be music, a warm drink, spending time with others, or simply sitting quietly. These aren’t meant to fix anything, but they can give you an anchor when things feel overwhelming.
• Remember that support is available. You don’t have to handle everything on your own. This might mean seeing a friend or calling family, or you could speak to your university or college. You can also look at the resources and organisations on our ‘Support‘ webpage.

Each situation is different, but here are some suggestions to start thinking about how to respond to a death with sensitivity and care. Make sure you consider staff wellbeing, as well as students, and that you’re getting support too if you need it.

Sometimes, in early moments, immediate priorities are rightly focused on safety and practical actions, and the emotional impact may still be unfolding – please take what feels helpful and leave what doesn’t.

• Coordination: Bringing together colleagues from wellbeing, accommodation, academic teams, chaplaincy, communications, and security means no single person or team carries the full burden, and ensures a more joined up response. Lean on each other for help and support, even if it’s just a second opinion before an email goes out, or a debrief after a difficult conversation.

• Communication: Consider who needs to be informed and how. It may be best to inform close contacts before wider announcements are made. Use compassionate, human language, while also being clear and avoiding euphemisms. Create face-to-face opportunities where you can, but follow up in writing, as this allows people time to reflect, look back at resources, and reach out again if they need to.

• Choice: Make space for varied responses across your community. Students and staff may have very different reactions and needs. Some may want to gather or talk, others may prefer privacy or routine. It can be helpful to offer a range of options e.g. quiet spaces, 121 check-ins, group support, online resources, and text support.

• Considerations: You may need to consider academic extensions, room changes, event adjustments, or safety processes. Approach these decisions with openness and flexibility, recognising the ripple effects a death can have on day-to-day functioning.

• Consistency: Make sure support doesn’t stop after the first few weeks. Initial responses are important, but sometimes it’s too overwhelming to properly engage in the early days. Grief can surface weeks or months later. Plan follow-up communication and checking in with affected groups. It may be useful to schedules some meetings in the following month to give proper time for reflection and planning – even when the situation becomes less immediate, it’s important to keep providing support.

• We highly recommend looking at this in-depth guide from Universities UK. It is focused on student suicide, but a lot of the guidance is relevant more widely to student deaths: How to respond to student suicides