Significant loss can affect so many parts of your life, in the weeks, months, and years that follow. You may find that grief impacts your concentration, energy, motivation, and emotional balance, to name just a few examples. On top of this, healthcare students tend to be under a lot of pressure, and frequently face situations involving end-of-life care and breaking bad news. This can all be particularly hard when you’re experiencing grief in your own life. Having a personal insight into loss can be a strength in your career, if you’re able to turn experience into empathy, but that doesn’t undermine how difficult it can be at times.
How Grief Might Affect Your Studies
- Changes in concentration and motivation: Grief can affect cognitive processing, making tasks feel more demanding than usual. You may find it harder to focus or to get work done to the usual quality.
- Difficult decisions: If you lose someone in the middle of your studies, you might have to make decisions about how you continue your studies. You may start questioning what you want to do with your life, or whether you need some time out. Your choice will depend on a whole range of factors.
- Emotional ups and downs: You might feel heartbroken, numb, anxious, irritable, guilty, or angry, to name just a few examples. Some people think of grief coming in waves – some days these might be calm, other days you might be overwhelmed.
- Physical symptoms: It’s common for bereaved people to experience tiredness, disrupted sleep, headaches, changes to appetite and digestion, or feeling run‑down, as a few examples.
- Triggers in clinical environments: Certain subjects or patient encounters may bring up memories and emotions, which other students don’t seem to be as affected by. That does not mean you’re not capable, or professional. It’s a sign that you’re human, and you just may need a bit of extra support, or time to adjust.
Ways to Support Yourself
- Acknowledge your grief: It’s normal to experience a range of emotions and challenges when you lose someone, even months and years later. Give yourself permission to go through the ups and downs. In the long-term it’s much healthier to let ourselves grieve than to push it away.
- Speak with your school early: Personal tutors, student support teams and placement leads may be able to help with extensions, mitigating circumstances or adjustment of clinical duties.
- Identify triggers and plan ahead: If certain clinical areas or lectures feel difficult, discuss temporary adjustments or additional supervision, or even just mentally preparing yourself can help.
- Use available support services: Many universities offer wellbeing services like counselling, chaplaincy, and/or peer networks. You can also check out the organisations recommended here – from online talking groups, to podcasts and apps.
- Lean on your personal support system. Friends or family may be able to offer a listening ear, or simply some company. If you feel like a burden (lots of people do), think about how you would respond to a friend reaching out – it may feel a bit awkward at first, but sharing our vulnerability deepens connections.
- Create small, manageable routines: Short study blocks, gentle exercise, and getting enough sleep can all add a bit of stability in difficult times. Remember to build in some times for light-hearted things you enjoy too, if you feel up for it.
- Be kind to yourself: Reduced productivity or emotional sensitivity doesn’t mean you’re failing, it means you’re human. Seeking support isn’t a weakness, but will allow you to become more resilient and grow personally and professionally.
- For more general tips, visit our Managing Grief page.
Student Stories
Reflections from Andrew Durham
“We started going into hospital in our third year. I had a placement in intensive care. After my own experiences I was naturally apprehensive about this.
Before going to medical school, I’d done some work experience in the same hospital where my dad had died. At one point I had to go back to THAT intensive care department. On the walk up there, I could feel my heartrate go up, my palms start to sweat, and I felt sick.
This memory came back vividly during the induction talk we had as students. I felt the same reaction I’d had on work experience brewing inside me and when she went on to talk about organ donation, I had to turn my head away.
The consultant was very understanding, and agreed to come with me on the ward rounds in case it became too much, but strangely I didn’t feel like I needed any pastoral support when the time came. None of those old emotions surfaced and I had a really good time during that week.
Why did I not have such a strong response to being back in intensive care this time? Probably because I talked about it. By having to articulate how I was feeling, it helped me to comprehend my emotions and how I could move forward with them.”
Tips for Staff Supporting Students
- Acknowledge that grief is different for everyone, and can have a huge impact on many areas of a students life, such as mental health, physical health, social relationships and academic performance.
- Offer opportunities to talk but don’t force it: Often students just want someone to show they care and listen, without jumping straight to solutions. Consider when/where this would feel comfortable e.g. a quiet space, when you both have time. Avoid assumptions and ask open questions e.g. instead of “this must be awful”, try “how have you been finding coming back to university?”. Remember not to pressure anyone – some students may prefer privacy.
- Provide practical support when possible: Grief can make everyday tasks harder, including navigating appointments and paperwork. Offer concrete help – instead of “let me know if I can do anything”, ask “shall we fill in the form together?”, “can I contact X for you?”, or “do you want me to email a list of grief resources?”.
- Signpost to other resources and organisations: Remind students of the university support services, as well as other organisations, helpful websites, even books and podcasts. Some students may need emotional support, others may need help with finances or housing. You don’t have to be an expert or know every option, but can you point them in the right direction or look together? Find some signposting ideas here.
- Find further tips for supporting students, via our collaboration with UKAT, here: top-10-tips-for-supporting-bereaved-students.pdf