By Anna May
Starting university, or going into a new term, when you’ve experienced a significant loss can feel really tricky. We might feel overwhelmed, lonely, distracted, miserable, excited, confused… to name a few examples. Many students feel the pressure to be having the ‘best time of their lives’, but this isn’t realistic, and can feel particularly contradictory when we’re grieving.
We all experience grief differently, but some of the tensions bereaved students might be juggling at the start of a new term include:
- Do I tell new flatmates what has happened, or avoid those awkward conversations?
- Do I ask for support from the university or just get on with it?
- Is this a chance to start afresh, or do I feel guilty for being away from home?
- Do I drag myself out for a social when all I want to do is stay in bed?
- Is it a good idea to drink ten pints or will it end in tears?
And the question underlying all of this: How do we balance new beginnings while giving our grief the time and space that it needs? We don’t have to have all the answers, but we can learn to be kind to ourselves, find ways to express our thoughts and feelings, and reach out for support when we need it.
Here’s a conversation between Anna, Theo, Jay, Tyron and Nicolle, sharing some thoughts on the subject: