We tend to think grief is about sadness and missing a person, but it’s often more complex. It can lead to a whole array of feelings and responses. For some people it can be overwhelmingly emotional, while others may feel disconnected and numb.
Grief can impact our daily routines, our relationships, our identity, and our whole perspective of the world. Many people feel that ‘everything changes’ after they experience a significant bereavement.
We don’t have a rulebook for processing loss, but there are lots of things that can help, and it is possible to live a full and happy life despite the challenges grief may bring.
Common emotional responses:
- Sadness
- Numbness
- Confusion, overwhelm
- Anger, irritability
- Shock, denial
- Relief
- Guilt
- Loneliness
- Embarrassment
- Anxiety
I read an article that states ‘traumatic loss is like experiencing a brain injury’. My memory and self-esteem have been badly affected, along with a level of exhaustion I’ve never experienced before
– Josephine Helen (find on our blog)
Common physical reactions:
- Exhuastion
- Feeling of emptiness
- Nausea
- Headaches
- Muscle ache
- Changes to appetite
- Changes to sleep
- Inability to concentrate
- Sensitivity to noise
- Digestive issues
- Recurring illness
Whatever our age, life stage, whether they were loving and close, or had a more complex relationship with us, when we lose a parent, it is felt deeply in every cell of our body. We can feel like we are losing a part of ourselves
– Raj Lehl (find on our blog)
Common behaviours:
- Social withdrawal and isolation
- Being overly social or busy to avoid feelings
- Change of habits and interests
- Changes to relationships
- Searching for distractions and relief (both healthy and unhealthy coping mechanisms)
- Feeling unmotivated and doing very little
- Nightmares, flashbacks, unusual dreams
- Questioning everything and searching for answers
- Finding meaningful objects, activities, places
Grief changes you, there’s no real way of getting away from it. Looking back I can see how the experience of losing dad has moulded me into the person I am today.
– Andrew Durham (find on our blog)